Thursday, October 6, 2016

MY HAUNTED UKULELE

I think my ukulele is haunted. I'm deadly serious. Ever since this thing arrived, there has been some crazy stuff going on in my house.

HOW IT ALL STARTED

I went to Hawaii with my wife. We go there pretty much every coupl eof years. We got married there and we just think of it as, ya know.. our place.  Anyway, we went to this luau and there was this pretty Hawaiian lady sitting around a fire and she was playing this beautiful song and gently strumming her ukulele. I wish I knew what the song was but it was in her native tongue so I honestly have no clue.

When we got home, i really felt this stron urge to get online and find a ukulele. I wanted a good one but I didn't want to break the bank. So of course where do I go? Ebay.. Because you know what they say.. "One man's trash is another man's treasure" After searching and searching and hours of researching I came across someone selling this ukulele.. He said it was passed down to him from his mom and her mom before that. He claimed that the instrument has been in his family for generations. Hmmm.. I wonder why he wants to get rid of it.  Well he was only asking $35.00 for the damn thing and well that was in my price range.. I guess knowing that it was a family heirloom made it even more attractive.

WHILE I WAITED FOR MY UKE

I was excited for my ukulele to arrive and instead of sitting everyday by my front door waiting for Dean.(that's our mailman) i figered I would look for a site where you could teach yourself ukulele.  
I end up googling around and I find a site and join. I didn't know where to start.. Well I wanted to start playing ukulele songs right away but thats always been my problem. I like to put the cart before the horse.  Anyway, this site had all the basic lessons I needed to get up and running.. I would get to the songs later. 


DEAN ARRIVED WITH MY UKE

I've never been more happy to see Dean roll up in his little mail buggy and get out with his mailman shorts and ring my bell. I excitedly opened the door and could hardly contain myself. I almost snatched the box out of his hand but dean pulled it away. "Ah ah ah.. You need to sing for it first." Did I mention how much of a tool Dean is. Well no Christmas envelope for you diptard.

I signed, snatched my package out of his slimy hands, yelled, "Thanks Dean!" and slammed the door in his face. I ran to the kitchen counter and ripped open the box. There it was.. This old, not so attractive, faded piece of wood with strings. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. Spent six hours that night going through the lessons. I sucked pretty heavily but i din't care. It was bliss.

WHAT'S THAT STRANGE SMELL?

That night as I lay in bed watching a flick on Netflix, this strange smell immediately devoured the room. I will try to explain it. It was like a mixture of Plumeria and cigar smoke.. It was a strange smell.. I;ve always loved the smell of Plumeria as it reminds me of my time in Hawaii but thee cigar smoke was a mystery. No one in my house smokes and I do have a few friends that enjoy the occasional cigar but they know the rules of my house. No Smoking ever! I got up and made my way through the house to see where it might be coming from. I opened the door to the outside and all i could smell was freshly cut grass. It was so weird.

3 AM

I was jolted awake at exactly 3am by a loud crash in my living room. It freaked me out. Was someone in my house? My wife asked me if I heard it. I told her yes and to stay put. I reached into my night table and took out my mace. (Yes mace.. We don't believe in guns in this household)

I slowly made my way through the dark hallways. searching through every room. Nothing. I made my way into the living room and flicked on the light. My ukulele was out of the case and sitting out on the floor. I could have sworn I put it away after I was done playing it. Hmmm..  I picked it up from the floor and put it back into the case and put it in the corner. As I turned to go back to bed, I smelled Plumeria. I mean like I was in the middle of a field of Plumeria plants. It was that strong.

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO ABOUT MY HAUNTED UKULELE..