CAT AND STRING TAILS

So in my last post, i was complaining about me getting my haunted ukulele returned to me on ebay. No matter what I try to do, I cannot get this damn thing out of my life. What started out as an innocent attempt to play some ukulele songs has turned into a damn nightmare.

So I get this thing back in the mail and i remember looking out the window and the mailman coming up the block. He was actually whistling. He was happy and my heart filled with dread. It actually looked like he was walking up the block in slow motion. It was sickening.

Let me go back for a second. When I sent this ukulele to the lucky ebay winner, I immediately went online  to take a tutorial on how to buy a ukulele. You know, what to look for, which ones are good. And I actually found one and ordered it. It came a coupl of days later via Amazon Prime.

I was a little scared because of the crazy experience I had with my previous ukulele but I didn't let that stop me. I went online and found a lesson with the Riptide ukulele chords. I was actually getting pretty good at it.. When I have it down, I will post a video of me playing it.

So now, I have the old ukulele back and I haven't even opened the box. I am trying really hard to ignore it. But my mind keeps wandering to it. I don't know what to expect. I have this sick feeling in my stomach. I will let you know if anything happens with it..

WILL I EVER GET RID OF THIS THING?

Just when I got rid of my ukulele, it comes back. The ebay user had it for one day.. ONE DAY! He said he had a "bad feeling" from it. I guess it is my fault because I but a 14 day return policy on it. I was hoping that I could get to the 15th day and put this behind me. Didn't happen. 

. 

I even added that I would pay for three months of online ukulele lessons. Didn't work. I mean don't you think that an offer of 3 months of free ukulele lessons would be a good incentive? I did. It wasn't. 

So now what the hell do I do. Should I burn it? Should I give it away for free? I think that is my only option at this point. I am obviously not going to be able to sell it. I did have a thought that I advertise it for what it is and be totally open about the ukulele. Tell them that I believe that is it haunted. I mean there are people who get off on stuff like this. It's sort of foreign  to me but hey whatever floats your boat. My only concern is to get rid of this thing. 

I will keep you posted. 

GOODBYE HAUNTED UKULELE

So I finally found someone to buy the dang ukulele that has been causing us so many problems. I sold it on ebay for a measly 20 bucks. Fine I don't care. I will take the hit just to get that damn thing out of here.

I never ever thought someone would go through something like this trying to teach yourself ukulele. It's probably just me because I have that kind of luck. So now all I have to do is wrap this thing up and bring it to the post office and it will be out of my life for good. \

This doesn't mean I am going to give up my dream of learning how to play. I just need to be more careful and figure out how to buy a ukulele online so I don't go through this mess again. I guess I can always go into my local music store and get one too.. Problem is I am an amazon kind of guy. Way more convenient.

Until I replace this thing, I guess learning the Riptide ukulele chords will have to wait. I will keep you posted..

MY HAUNTED UKULELE PT.3

I really think it is time to get rid of this ukulele. Way too many unexplainable things are happening in my house. I have to think of my wife and kids. It's crazy. What started out as an innocent desire to learn ukulele songs to sing around the house has turned into a frickin' nightmare.

It's not just happening at night now. It's happening during the day. It happens when I sleep. The dreams. Or should I say the nightmares. It's unbearable. It sucks. If I had the money I would have bought myself a brand new ukulele. I wouldn't have to scour the internet and go the "teach yourself ukulele"route. This was the only option I had.

So now I am at a crossroad. I can't really afford to buy myself a new ukulele. I can't really afford to take private lessons. I don't want to put my wife and kids through this horrible ordeal with these strange things happening in my house.

I am kind of screwed. Any thoughts?

MY HAUNTED UKULELE PT.2

MY UKULELE GENTLY WEEPS

     You ever had one of those dreams where you wake up in your bed but you are still really sleeping. I dreamed that I woke up to music. It sounded like a ukulele playing. I couldn't figure out what it was as far as the tune. It sounded like an old record playing but like the record was warped. There was a glow throughtout my house and I walked toward the sound. It is hard ot explain. I mean, I was walking in a dark house but there was this eerie glow as if my path was illuminated by a flickering candle. 

   As I made my way toward the sound I started to make out what was playing. And as I write this, the hair on my neck is standing straight up. It sounded like it was playing the Somewhere Over the Rainbow chords.. It sounded Hawaiian but also like it was playing on a broken kids record player.. 

As I go down the hall the music is getting louder and louder. I finally realize that it is coming from my son's room. I slowly push open the door and look at my son fast asleep in his bed. I glance over to the corner and a little girl was rocking his his little rocking chair slowly strumming the chords. Her legs swinging back and forth. She looks up at me and smiles. 

I immediately wake up with a jolt. I catch my breath and lightly in the background I can still here the chords playing. 

Creepy as hell

MY HAUNTED UKULELE

I think my ukulele is haunted. I'm deadly serious. Ever since this thing arrived, there has been some crazy stuff going on in my house.

HOW IT ALL STARTED

I went to Hawaii with my wife. We go there pretty much every coupl eof years. We got married there and we just think of it as, ya know.. our place.  Anyway, we went to this luau and there was this pretty Hawaiian lady sitting around a fire and she was playing this beautiful song and gently strumming her ukulele. I wish I knew what the song was but it was in her native tongue so I honestly have no clue.

When we got home, i really felt this stron urge to get online and find a ukulele. I wanted a good one but I didn't want to break the bank. So of course where do I go? Ebay.. Because you know what they say.. "One man's trash is another man's treasure" After searching and searching and hours of researching I came across someone selling this ukulele.. He said it was passed down to him from his mom and her mom before that. He claimed that the instrument has been in his family for generations. Hmmm.. I wonder why he wants to get rid of it.  Well he was only asking $35.00 for the damn thing and well that was in my price range.. I guess knowing that it was a family heirloom made it even more attractive.

WHILE I WAITED FOR MY UKE

I was excited for my ukulele to arrive and instead of sitting everyday by my front door waiting for Dean.(that's our mailman) i figered I would look for a site where you could teach yourself ukulele.  
I end up googling around and I find a site and join. I didn't know where to start.. Well I wanted to start playing ukulele songs right away but thats always been my problem. I like to put the cart before the horse.  Anyway, this site had all the basic lessons I needed to get up and running.. I would get to the songs later. 

DEAN ARRIVED WITH MY UKE

I've never been more happy to see Dean roll up in his little mail buggy and get out with his mailman shorts and ring my bell. I excitedly opened the door and could hardly contain myself. I almost snatched the box out of his hand but dean pulled it away. "Ah ah ah.. You need to sing for it first." Did I mention how much of a tool Dean is. Well no Christmas envelope for you diptard.

I signed, snatched my package out of his slimy hands, yelled, "Thanks Dean!" and slammed the door in his face. I ran to the kitchen counter and ripped open the box. There it was.. This old, not so attractive, faded piece of wood with strings. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. Spent six hours that night going through the lessons. I sucked pretty heavily but i din't care. It was bliss.

WHAT'S THAT STRANGE SMELL?

That night as I lay in bed watching a flick on Netflix, this strange smell immediately devoured the room. I will try to explain it. It was like a mixture of Plumeria and cigar smoke.. It was a strange smell.. I;ve always loved the smell of Plumeria as it reminds me of my time in Hawaii but thee cigar smoke was a mystery. No one in my house smokes and I do have a few friends that enjoy the occasional cigar but they know the rules of my house. No Smoking ever! I got up and made my way through the house to see where it might be coming from. I opened the door to the outside and all i could smell was freshly cut grass. It was so weird.

3 AM

I was jolted awake at exactly 3am by a loud crash in my living room. It freaked me out. Was someone in my house? My wife asked me if I heard it. I told her yes and to stay put. I reached into my night table and took out my mace. (Yes mace.. We don't believe in guns in this household)

I slowly made my way through the dark hallways. searching through every room. Nothing. I made my way into the living room and flicked on the light. My ukulele was out of the case and sitting out on the floor. I could have sworn I put it away after I was done playing it. Hmmm..  I picked it up from the floor and put it back into the case and put it in the corner. As I turned to go back to bed, I smelled Plumeria. I mean like I was in the middle of a field of Plumeria plants. It was that strong.

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO ABOUT MY HAUNTED UKULELE..